gone beyond
It was only during my conversation with Vincent earlier that I realised that I have travelled out of the country at least four times in the last 7 months, and by that I don't mean Johor Bahru -- but beyond. I don't know if I have ever done that before but it feels like a lot just thinking about it.
I remember how I often wished for my family to go on holidays together when I was a child. I took my first plane flight only when I was 16 or 17, to -- guess where? -- Bangkok. And since then, I've been on planes that go for as long as 15 hours... 7 hours... 3 hours... Though it has always been on shoestring budget.
I often envy families who make holiday trips abroad together. In fact, I envy families who even make time to do things together. But that's another topic for another entry.
Today I felt like I should be somewhere else. I jokingly said that hopefully, my test results would turn out negative and perhaps even dire. So I can be put to rest, meet my Maker, and say so long to everyone here. Maybe, just maybe.
Surely I'm not suicidal, but don't you wish that you could be in paradise with Christ too?
There's really little that keeps me going each and every day. I know it sounds very bleak, but it actually isn't. The only purpose that keeps me alive and doing the many things I do each day lies in the hope of seeing my Maker someday. And for now, in pleasing Him everyday. Even while I'm still figuring out how that works, God really is the only reason why I wake up everyday... and more so, the reason why I love, the reason why I smile.
Very soon, I'll be 25 and I actually feel rather frumpy about it. Mid-life crisis.
And my back hurts like I'm already 50. It hasn't hurt so bad before. I almost think it's broken. Brokeback me.
I seriously think I need a new mattress, and 20 sessions of Tui Na. Or maybe acupuncture.Labels: random
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