God's unending love and His amazing grace never fails to marvel me. I want so much to praise Him all of my days and rejoice in knowing that I can fully rely on Him.
But even as I pray today, I found myself still holding onto little areas of myself that refuses to surrender wholly to God. If I'm not willing to let God take control, then I'm simply missing out on the fullness of the joy found in relying completely on Him.
Forbid it that I should do so, Lord!
It's nearly 2 am, and I'm awake because I was trying very hard to create the above image. And now, I can't get myself to sleep. There's so much on my mind that I feel rather weak and helpless.
Still, I'm reminded once again of His unending love and amazing grace.
Faith. I need to build faith.
if only i could die today, so i may see my Saviour face to face forever rested, forever love
And can it be that I should gain An interest in the Savior's blood? Died He for me, who caused His pain- For me, who Him to death pursued? Amazing love! How can it be, That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
Long my imprisoned spirit lay, Fast bound in sin and nature’s night; Thine eye diffused a quickening ray- I woke, the dungeon flamed with light; My chains fell off, my heart was free, I rose, went forth, and followed Thee. My chains fell off, my heart was free, I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.
Still the small inward voice I hear, That whispers all my sins forgiven; Still the atoning blood is near, That quenched the wrath of hostile Heaven. I feel the life His wounds impart; I feel the Savior in my heart. I feel the life His wounds impart; I feel the Savior in my heart.
No condemnation now I dread; Jesus, and all in Him, is mine; Alive in Him, my living Head, And clothed in righteousness divine, Bold I approach th'eternal throne, And claim the crown, through Christ my own. Bold I approach th'eternal throne, And claim the crown, through Christ my own.
Are you afraid to die?
For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. 2 Timothy 4:6-8
I'm not. In fact, I'm longing so much for that day to arrive - the day where I can finally be put to rest and meet my Father face-to-face. Yearning for that day, where I can proclaim as Paul has.
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
On that day, I'll finally be able to understand everything - on hindsight, and rejoice in knowing that I am done.
Yes, I'm running out of stamina but I will keep running. I will not only run, I will jump across hurdles with the strength of my Lord, for "Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." (1 Corinthians 9:25-27)
I recorded this with my mobile and have occasionally used this as my alarm tune to wake up in the morning to pray. One good thing about using this is that it comes as a reminder for me to pray not merely for myself and the people around me, but for the many others out in the world who have yet to know Him.
By the way, this is a Christian song sung by Karen youths during a Christian gathering I attended earlier this year when I was in Mae Sot. Somewhere in the middle, you'll hear them sing, "Yeaaa-su Krit" -- which is Karen for "Jesus Christ". And that's the only thing I understand from the whole song. :)
You are Lord of Lords You are King of Kings You are mighty God Lord of everything You're Emmanuel You're the great "I AM" You're the Prince of Peace Who is the Lamb You're the living God You're my saving grace You will reign forever You are ancient of days You're the Alpha, Omega, Beginning and End You're my Savior, Messiah, Redeemer and friend
You're my Prince of Peace and I will live my life for you
As I sang this today, I thought to myself... of all these 'names' we know of God, do they all mean anything at all to me? Is there a particular one that I'm most able to identify with; why?
And I thought it'll be a good question for all of us to ask too!
Is He only known to us as our Saviour, the Lamb sacrificed, the peace bringer... or is He also glorified in every sense that He deserves -- as Lord, Ruler, King, the great 'I AM'?
We have to keep in mind that God doesn't exist for us; we exist for Him. Jesus didn't just come to save us. He came to glorify His Father, and to do His Father's will.
It was never about us.
And today, I'm a happy girl -- because I'm well-loved! Woo. (:
Everything on earth has its own time and its own season. There is a time for birth and death, planting and reaping, for killing and healing, destroying and building, for crying and laughing, weeping and dancing, for throwing stones and gathering stones, embracing and parting. There is a time for finding and losing, keeping and giving, for tearing and sewing, listening and speaking. There is also a time for love and hate, for war and peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
I heard this song several times before but never knew about the story surrounding it till today, and it made me cry.
Steven Curtis Chapman -- singer/songwriter of one of my favourite wedding songs I will be here, lost his youngest adopted daughter in a tragic accident just a couple of months ago. The little girl was a mere 5 year old child, adopted from China.
Matt Redman sang Blessed by Your name at her funeral -- aptly so.
The calling we have as Christians is no easy task, for it's definitely not a bed of roses. When we hear of tragedies such as these, or even experience afflictions in our lives, how ready and willing are we to say "Blessed be Your name"?
The teaching of the Sermon on the Mount is not, "Do your duty," but is, in effect, "Do what is not your duty." It is not your duty to go the second mile, or to turn the other cheek, but Jesus said that if we are His disciples, we will always do these things...
Never look for righteousness in the other person, but never cease to be righteous yourself. We are always looking for justice, yet the essence of the teaching of the Sermon on the Mount is— Never look for justice, but never cease to give it. - excerpts from My Utmost for His Highest
Doing what is right and good, rather than what I feel like doing. Doing what honours Christ and pleases God.
We are never necessary to God, but God is forever necessary to us.
Hmm... I thought Bishop John Tan shared a rather interesting sermon today. Interesting in the sense that while I'm relatively familiar with that passage he spoke from, I never quite saw it from the say he talked about.
Luke 9 talks about 3 different fellas who came asking about following Christ. As it turns out, each of them at some kinda problem. The first was unwilling to bear the cross of Christ -- wanting only the blessings of salvation and disregarding the hardships that will follow. The second procrastinates, unwilling to obey. The third declares commitment but upon his own terms rather than God's terms.
It makes me question if I fall into any of these categories... if I'm missing out on something. Missing out on the point of God -- unwilling in any way to full obedience. Lord, please open my eyes to see you.
God's grace is abundant, but that does not give me an excuse to use it for my advantage.
"If the central point, or the most powerful influence, of my life is the atonement of the Lord, then every aspect of my life will bear fruit for Him... It is not on what we spend the greatest amount of time that molds us the most, but whatever exerts the most power over us. We must make a determination to limit and concentrate our desires and interests on the atonement by the Cross of Christ." My Utmost for His Highest
Today's youth service's message was very straightforward and simple. Yet it is often such basic concepts about the faith that bears the most important truths. :)
Am I a true disciple of Christ?
I was reminded of this verse as we were praying during homecell last night: Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24
...and it has been on my mind to really reflect and think about my life, and if I am indeed presenting myself as a fragrant offering to the God whom I declare to love. Surely He loves me and I know I'm precious in His sight. But am I pleasing? Am I honouring? Am I bringing him the glory that He deserves?
Uncovering my own flaws isn't exactly a fun thing to do. Asking God to search my heart and test me can be quite a painful experience.
"...for no one living is righteous before you" Psalm 143:2b
Come and make my heart your home Come and be everything I am and all I know Search me through and through Till my heart becomes a home for you
A home for you, Lord A home for you, Lord Let everything I do open up a door for you to come through And my heart will be a place where you wanna be
But I have met the One who really is worthy So let me say
Well it's been fun, But I have found somebody else So long, self There's just no room for two So you are gonna have to move So long self Don't take this wrong But you are wrong for me Farewell, oh well Goodbye, don't cry So long, self - So long self, by MercyMe
David Crowder performing Everything Glorious at the Dove Awards 2008, which is also the winning song for Rock/Contemporary Recorded Song of the Year.
Chris Tomlin won Male Vocalist of the Year, and Casting Crowns took Group of the Year. Yay, my favourites!!! Hehe :) And they also won couple of other awards like Worship Song of the Year, Pop/Contemporary Album of the Year...
...and Song of the Year
Jesus, can You show me just how far the east is from the west 'cause I can't bear to see the man I've been come rising up in me again In the arms of Your mercy I find rest 'cause You know just how far the east is from the west From one scarred hand to the other
For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities-his eternal power and divine nature-have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse. -Romans 1:20
Sometimes I wonder what lies ahead How long till my hunger is fed They say it's hard to make it in this part of town So many people on this merry-go-round
Some folks try astrology Some turn to crystal balls To find an answer, To get through it all I just fall on my knees and I try to pray In the silence I can hear Him say
The river runs and the river hides Out to the ocean and under the sky I promise you, the answer will come Hold on to patience and watch for the sign Everything in its time
I often feel like I'm two steps behind Somebody must have moved that finish line There are a thousand reasons Why I should give up But I'm stubborn in the things I believe
'Cause maybe there's another plan One I still can't see A little surprise Like your love in my life Funny how time changes how we see
There's something really frightening and really miserable about going wherever He leads. I know it's the right and good thing to do -- and that I will heap great rewards thereafter. But it's seriously easier said than done.
If the great father of faith was fearful -- how much more so, me?
Even after my extremely lengthy entry about faith, change and an unchanging God, my head is convinced, but my heart is, well, grievously discomforting.
To the desperate eyes and reaching hands To the suffering and the need To the ones the world has cast aside Where You want me, I will be
I will go, I will go, I will go Lord, send me To the world, to the lost, to the poor and hungry Take everything I am I'm clay within Your hands I will go, I will go, send me
Let me not be blind with privilege Give me eyes to see the pain Let the blessing You poured out on me Not be spent on me in vain Let this life be used for change
I wanna live for You Go where You lead me I wanna follow You - I Will Go, by Starfield
Easier sung than done.
And the song caught me aptly -- I couldn't bring myself to sing the song. I struggled to think that I need to let God take everything and have me as clay in His hands.
Yes, I want to. I definitely want to be used by God. I want to follow Him wholeheartedly. I want Him to be my Jehovah Rohi. I want to be where He wants me to be.
But I must be honest; I'm not a saint. A total surrender of my life and my will is beyond my mere mortal sinful being. I'm having such a difficult time, I just want to cry. Hide. Disappear.
The self is not willing. Not willing to give up everything that it has ever held onto. Not willing to let God make the decisions -- decisions that seem so uncomfortable. Not willing to see the life it wanted, change so drastically.
Yet I love God. I love God so dearly, I want to kill myself just so I can live for Christ. And yes, it just occured to me how suicidal it feels to want to die to self, so that He may live in me. It feels just as desperate and just as lost.
It's so not easy! The murder of self - my head hurts
"Readiness for God means that we are prepared to do the smallest thing or the largest thing- it makes no difference. It means we have no choice in what we want to do, but that whatever God's plans may be, we are there and ready. Whenever any duty presents itself, we hear God's voice as our Lord heard His Father's voice, and we are ready for it with the total readiness of our love for Him." - excerpt from My Utmost for His Highest
Have been thinking about the discussion I had with cell on "Abraham - Living out God's purpose in my life"... I thought it was strange that Frank Lomax listed several characteristics about Abraham (Abram) but did not mention 'faith'. For most part, I couldn't disconnect Abraham from faith because he had such great faith that he's also commonly referred to as the father of faith!
One of my favourite chapters in the Bible, Hebrews 11, writes,
By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.
By faith Abraham, even though he was past age-and Sarah herself was barren-was enabled to become a father because he considered him faithful who had made the promise. And so from this one man, and he as good as dead, came descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as countless as the sand on the seashore.
All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country-a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.
By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had received the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, even though God had said to him, "It is through Isaac that your offspringwill be reckoned."Abraham reasoned that God could raise the dead, and figuratively speaking, he did receive Isaac back from death.
In it, we see three events of Abraham's life where he proved his faith in God (not forgetting those that were not mentioned!) and hey, they're no small matters.
Leaving his home for a place unknown is no laughing matter. If he had known where he was going, perhaps it would have been a little better. But not only did he not know, he found himself making a home out of tents. Did you think that Abram always lived in tents? No way. Abram was a wealthy man. He probably owned a big plot of land where he built his house and where his cattle and sheep would graze. Can you imagine if you're told to leave your house, don't know where you're going, and then find yourself in this strange place where people speak, look and behave differently... and you only have a tent and a sleeping bag to sleep and live in?
So as if it wasn't bewildering enough for Abram, God strikes him another deal. That out of this old old man, will come descendents as numerous as the stars in the sky... Imagine your grandparents having kids at their age. I can't. It's not only unbelievable, it's almost ridiculous to believe. By now you'd think that Abraham would have given up listening to God. Seems like this God has nothing but nonsense up his sleeve, isn't it?
But no, God is full of real promises and truths! Isaac is born. Precious, precious little Isaac. And then comes the bomb. God says, sacrifice Isaac.
A.k.a. "Kill your precious little son -- yes, that very son I promised you'd have." WHAT?!!
Did Abraham finally walk out on God? NO! HE DIDN'T!
See what I mean about this old man and his immense faith?
Woo.
Yet while we think about Abraham as this super-faithful old man, I noticed one thing during our study. He wasn't an emotionless old man with a crazed passion for God. He was a normal as man can be for he was as afraid as any of us would be. In Genesis 15:1, God said to him, "Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward." The fact that God said "Do not be afraid" gives us a hint of the kind of emotions Abram had -- He was actually frightened!
Faith requires the strength of a giant and the courage of a child
It is not the easiest thing, nor the most happening thing, to have to embrace such big leaps of faith in our walk. Interestingly, I was in a discussion about "change" that same day, during my company's weekly sharing session, where we talked about how change affect us and what exactly is change.
When Abram left his homeland, he embraced the change by faith -- but not without fear. There was discomfort. There was pain. And there will always be confusion.
But the amazing thing is no matter what kind of changes come our way to hit us, hurt us, cause us fear, we have the assurance of knowing that change is one thing God is not. For He is an unchanging God! His love, His mercies, His faithfulness is everlasting. When He says He will never leave us not forsake us, we know for certain that it will be so.
I walk by faith, not by sight
I've been a little... hmm.. how do I put it. Confused? Not quite but something like that. Uncertain, perhaps. About a major decision I made. And God always has His ways of showing His truths. Today, He reminded me of His plan and purpose in my life -- and how He is using me to bring joy into the lives of many.
Today I had the great privilege of praying with a young girl who wanted to receive Jesus into her life. How great, how very great are you, Lord. :)
Defender of this heart You loved me from the start You never change Through the highs and lows As seasons come and go You never fail
Day after day, Your love will remain Faithful and true, You are good
You are God with us You're victorious You are strong and mighty to save
For Your word stands true There is none like You And when all else fades You remain
When trouble comes my way You guide and You sustain Lead me, I pray Forever You will be The great eternal King Now and always
Day after day, Your love will remain Faithful and true, You are good
Day after day, You never change Day after day, You are the same Day after day, You remain - Remain, by Starfield
Hold me close Let Your love surround me Bring me near Draw me to Your side And as I wait I'll rise up like the eagle And I will soar with You Your Spirit leads me on In the power of Your Love
Lord, renew my mind As Your will unfolds in my life In living every day In the power of Your Love
For some reason, this song isn't quite one of my favourites... but it is one very special song to me. Perhaps it's sentimental, the way it is a tune that's so reminiscent of some of the best experiences I have had with my living Saviour, and thus makes it one that will forever be ingrained in my heart. Anyway, if you haven't clicked on that video above, you should. It's in Korean! Cool huh. Haha.
Good Lord, my great great God Thank you for your great love Indeed my heart sings for joy When I think of you I'm filled with praise, with awe, with gladness May my life reflect your goodness Make me a living sacrifice for you
And I'm off to bed. I'm so tired; I don't know why! My head feels a little achy... but I can't wait for this Saturday to come! It's going to be an eventful day -- Yeah! :) :) :)
Here I am humbled by your Majesty Covered by your grace so free Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man Covered by the blood of the Lamb
Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine Since you laid down your life The greatest sacrifice
Majesty, Majesty Your grace has found me just as I am Empty handed, but alive in your hands Majesty, Majesty Forever I am changed by your love In the presence of your Majesty
Here I am humbled by the love that you give Forgiven so that I can forgive Here I stand, knowing that I'm your desire Sanctified by glory and fire
It's not the easiest thing to say that you can be changed forever because of His sacrifice. As I probed the young ones yesterday, why should one sacrifice all for Christ? -- He sacrificed for us, no doubt, but so what?
Everyday, dozens of people make sacrifices for the ones they love. But do they always find reciprocation? Is it for certain that they are even appreciated the slightest bit? Maybe once, twice. Maybe never.
When someone loves you that much, it is only right to do something for that person in return -- or is it?
I'm not sure what everyone was thinking when I asked those questions. I was wondering what would be my own reply.
Is there really a right thing to do? And are we really compelled to this right thing? Or are we just doing it, because, well, it is the right thing.
Do I kneel before God everyday, just because I think it's good and right, or because I really want to?
Does it make a difference? Of course. Will God see the difference? I'm sure.
When I did the things I did to make amends for what I've done wrong. I knew I really wanted to. And it was most definitely, the right thing too. But today, I wonder about this all over again. While I'm desperately trying to do right, I'm equally desperate in trying to figure out what I want, and what is right.
It's so easy to be led by the heart's emotions, blinded by the situation.
How do I stay right, and want right, in this very wrong world?
And it's even easier, to be influenced by what others have to say, the things others urge me to do. Good counsel is a treasure, but when is it good? I search His Word and the more I read, the less I understand and so much more are the questions I have.
Wake up, child. And look this way. You were never on your own, and you were never out of my sight. Is not my grace sufficient for you? Are not my ways, higher than yours? Will I not give you all that you need -- and much more than that? Why, then, are you downcast? Why, then, do you doubt? Seek me and find me. You saw me from long ago. Now why have you forgotten me again? Return to my fold, and hold onto me. This ride will be long, but it won't be cruel. Follow me. And I will lead you. Ask me. And I will answer you. Love me. And your joy will be complete.
Rainie is sooooooo cute la! And I recently -- most suaku-ly -- found out that you can 'customise' your YouTube embed options, so now this vid loads in full pink! Awesome eh? Wahaha.
But I'm not a Miss Pinky sorta girl. Really. And no, no pink Vespa with flowery patterns. Quit that idea. Think Brown Finos... or a blood red gorgeous Ducati Hypermotard. Period. Unfortunately, I'm quite sure I will never get to own or ride a Hypermotard *sob* I'll stick to my plans for a cute brown Yamaha Fino.
And in the meantime, I'm dying for that cup (cup? glass? pottery?) of Korean Cinnamon tea we had last week. Tea couldn't taste any better -- seriously. It was so good, I had me breaking out in a song -- albeit, a rather melancholic one.
Fare thee well Trade in all our words for tea and sympathy Wonder why we tried, for things that could never be Play our hearts lament, like an unrehearsed symphony
Not intend To leave this castle full of empty rooms Our love the captive in the tower never rescued And all the victory songs Seem to be playing out of tune
But it's not the way That it has to be Don't trade our love for tea and sympathy 'Cause it's not the way That it has to be
You begin And all your words fall to the floor and break like china cups And the waitress grabs a broom and tries to sweep them up I reach for my tea and slowly drink in
'Cause it's not the way That it has to be Don't trade our love for tea and sympathy And it's not the way (you feel) That it has to be Don't trade our love for tea and sympathy
So fare thee well Words the bag of leaves that fill my head I could taste the bitterness and call the waitress instead She holds the answer, smiles and asks one teaspoon or two
Don't trade us for tea and sympathy Don't trade us for tea and Sympathy We can work it out - Tea and Sympathy, by Jars of Clay
I really like Jars of Clay very much. Did I ever tell you that? But my favourite sing-a-ling-a-ling fellow is now Chris Tomlin... I made this discovery about meself, that I have a certain fondness for gruffy singing brit boys. P.S. Jamie Cullum rawks.
Late at night when all the world is sleeping I stay up and think of you Then I shut my eyes and dream And I hear you call my name My heart sings a love song -- for you
I've got heaven on the inside of me Peace and joy God has set me free Heaven is a reality Abundant life flows out of me I've got a smile on my face A glide in my stride I'm tasting his grace And I'm walking by faith I've got heaven on the inside of me I've got heaven flowing out of me I'm bring heaven into this world
Joy, joy, joy I've got such joy in my heart I've got peace, peace, peace I've got such peace in my heart
I remember the day it all began It was the day that I was born again An explosion took place on the inside of me It was the Spirit of God setting me free
Brilliance! Haha. I've had a spectacular weekend, relishing the little joys of learning, sharing, laughing and loving... It was amazing! Yay.
But you know what? Even if nothing special happened, it would still be a spectacular day simply because This is the day that the Lord has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it!
So... what did I do? Well, besides ice-skating and singing... we watched Run, Fatboy, Run last night -- it was hilarious... had Crispy Oat Sotong twice within 24 hrs only to have the uncle say, "hey you're back"... and B said "The sotong is drugged. We're hooked". Hahaha. Today, I totally enjoyed myself playing for community praise and I was so happy to see Sam back!!! Never thought I could miss him more, and he's back just in time. Yay. :) Oh! And I bought the prettiest fabric ever and in two weeks, it'll be my masterpiece. I can just see it coming! Wahaha. So proud right, but I was over the moon when Deb said I'm ready for more advanced stuff. Who would have thought all my random mish-mash would actually do me any good? :) ADVANCEMENT, here I come!
Psalm 34 has been very personal to me in the last couple of months and it was this Psalm that Ps Barry was sharing from at today's prayer meeting -- which was also, a very special and personal one for me.
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
It hasn't been so long ago that my heart was in so much pain, it think it was completely shattered. It wasn't just a prick of a thorn, it was a strangling rope that threathened to take the life out of me. It was overwhelming. Yet my Father was indeed so very close, and He held me; He carried me -- regardless of all the selfish whims and wretched living, He loved me.
He loves me.
My God, my Saviour has ransomed me Like a flood, His mercy reigns Unending love, amazing grace - Amazing grace (My chains are gone), by Chris Tomlin
And I'm so filled with joy and thanksgiving that my heart just wants to keep singing and singing and singing!
How can I keep from singing Your praise How can I ever say enough How amazing is Your love How can I keep from shouting Your name I know I am loved by the King And it makes my heart want to sing
I can sing in the troubled times Sing when I win I can sing when I lose my step And fall down again I can sing 'cause You pick me up Sing 'cause You're there I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord When I call to You in prayer I can sing with my last breath Sing for I know That I'll sing with the angels And the saints around the throne - How can I keep from singing, by Chris Tomlin
(click once to listen)
Oh great and mighty One, with one desire we come That You would reign, that You would reign in us We're offering up our lives, a living sacrifice That You would reign, that You would reign in us - Reign in Us, by Starfield
Beautiful one, I love you Beautiful one, I adore you Beautiful one, my soul must sing
I've been really disturbed by my inadequacy to fully address an issue that a dear friend of mine is facing, but as I knelt in prayer for this dear friend, I couldn't help by marvel at how God had prompted me to speak with this person. It pained me deeply to hear of what my friend had to say, yet I'm so filled with praise for how God holds true his promises that he will "never leave you, nor forsake you". (Hebrews 13:5)
And I heard my soul sing. It sang in such great awe of the most glorious, most beautiful one of all.
I'm so grateful that even in times like these -- in seasons of change and sorrow, our good Lord's faithfulness never ceases. How it hurts me to know that I should ever cause Him pain.
You opened my eyes to Your wonders anew You captured my heart with this love Because nothing on earth is as beautiful as You
There as I prayed and sang more songs of praise, I am convinced - again - that God has everything good laid out for my friend -- and for you and me too! :)
Lord, I want to be in the light. In the place where I may forever praise thee Show me your ways; Use me for your glory Let my life be a living sacrifice
Have you marvelled at the greatness of our God today?
late at night I wonder why sometimes I wonder why sometimes I'm so tired I don't even try seems everything around me fails but I hold on to the promise that there is a reason
late at night, the darkness makes it hard to see the history of the saints who've gone in front of me through famine, plague and disbelief His hand was still upon them cause there is a reason there is a reason
he makes all things good he makes all things good there's a time to live and a time to die a time for wonder and to wonder why cause there is a reason there is a reason
I believe in a God who sent His only son to walk upon this world and give His life for us with blood and tears on a long, dark night we know that He believed that there is a reason there is a reason
for the lonely nights and broken hearts the widow's mite in the rich man's hand and the continent whose blood becomes a traitor
for the child afraid to close their eyes the prayers that seem unanswered there is a reason there is a reason - There is a reason, by Caedmon's Call
My heart feels really heavy. It's so painful that I couldn't stop crying for awhile. When I sang "break my heart for what breaks Yours" (Hosanna), I didn't have in mind that it was going to be so broken, so painful, so grieving when I thought about just how frail we are... and the mess that we create in our lives and in this world... Indeed, He broke my heart for the very things that breaks His.
And once again, I'm so humbled and broken inside.
It's not about me, Lord It's never about me God, that You may be pleased That You may find in me A child who brings You great joy That my life will be a fragrant offering That I will truly make you beam Everything I am All that I have Teach me to please you, Lord -- for always Never for my own glory But Yours alone
Tonight, I shall make it my life's mission -- To make God happy. I want God to smile, and not just smile, I want Him to beam with an abundance of joy and gladness! And my dear brother, Pee, has agreed to join me in my mission. We'll be the brother-sister duo -- Pleasing God for life! I love you so much, my dear bro. So very much!
Why, why are You still with me? Didn't You see what I've done? In my shame I want to run and hide myself But it's here I see the truth I don't deserve You
But I need You to love me, and I I won't keep my heart from You this time Snd I'll stop this pretending that I can Somehow deserve what I already have I need You to love me
I, I have wasted so much time Pushing You away from me I just never saw how much You could cherish me Cuz You're a God who has all things And still You want me
Your love makes me forget what I have been Your love makes me see who I really am Your love makes me forget what I have been - I need you to love me, by Barlow Girl
Thank you for the cross, Lord Thank you for the price You paid Bearing all my sin and shame In love You came And gave amazing grace
Thank you for this love, Lord Thank you for the nail pierced hands Washed me in Your cleansing flow Now all I know Your forgiveness and embrace
Worthy is the Lamb Seated on the throne Crown You now with many crowns You reign victorious
High and lifted up Jesus, Son of God The darling of heaven crucified Worthy is the Lamb
I had such a hearty lunch I feel like I don't need to eat for the next 48 hours. Haha. But I feel guilty -- no, I'm not having an eating disorder, but I actually thought to myself that today should be spent in quiet respect of what the one who loves me most has done for me.
This morning as I spent time praying after I got up, I gave thanks to God for washing me whiter than snow. It is a little frivolous, but right after I said that prayer, I thought to myself, "Is snow really a good analogy to use? I thought it had loads of impurities." Haha. And then I decided I won't use snow in my prayers anymore, because I have never seen snow -- so it actually doesn't mean anything to me!
Very often, our prayers descent into routine tasks of blabbling the same words and phrases over and over again. It is as if our brains contain its own version of the Diocesan Prayer Book, which tends to be recited without much thought. It is not true that we have to change the way we pray every time we pray, but it is so important to know what we are praying and say it from our hearts. Still, our prayers should change and mature with us as we grow. The prayers I make today shouldn't sound anything like the prayers I made as a new believer -- save for the fact that I was only 10 when I first believed. :P Our prayer lives should reflect our maturity in Christ. Not so much the words used (although that might change too), but also what is being prayed.
Today's 2nd meditation by Yahui was rather interesting. Other than her mentioning what I naughtily said about Good Friday's seven long meditations, the passage given to her were the conversations between Jesus and the two criminals who were cruxified beside him. We know that one mocked Jesus while the other was saved but I never quite thought of it in the perspective shared by her. She said that the first spoke to Jesus with his own needs and desires placed in priority whereas the other, fully recognised the Kingship of Christ.
I felt it was an interesting observation because it was the first criminal who told Jesus to "Save himself" while the second asked that Jesus would remember him. On the surface, it was the second who seemed more self-centred than the first, no?
Yet is so true that it was the first, who was self-centred. Unrepentant of his own wrong doing, he mocked Jesus to incite him to perform a miracle -- so that he too, may benefit from it. Unlike this scum, the second criminal resigned to the consequences of his sins, and acknowledged who Jesus was.
Today, you shall be with me in paradise.
Oh, how I long for Jesus to say that to me! Yet I rest in the assurance that he already has, for I'm saved by his most precious, most blameless, most longsuffering blood.
Side note: A week ago, when Yahui asked if I wanted to read her sharing but I told her I rather not, so that I will actually pay attention when she speaks. And I'm glad I didn't, because surprisingly, I stayed amazingly attentive throughout the seven meditations this year!
There is a fountain filled with blood drawn from Emmanuel's veins; And sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains. Lose all their guilty stains, lose all their guilty stains; And sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains.
The dying thief rejoiced to see that fountain in his day; And there have I, though vile as he, washed all my sins away. Washed all my sins away, washed all my sins away; And there have I, though vile as he, washed all my sins away.
Dear dying Lamb, Thy precious blood shall never lose its power Till all the ransomed church of God be saved, to sin no more. Be saved, to sin no more, be saved, to sin no more; Till all the ransomed church of God be saved, to sin no more.
E'er since, by faith, I saw the stream Thy flowing wounds supply, Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be till I die. And shall be till I die, and shall be till I die; Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be till I die.
Then in a nobler, sweeter song, I'll sing Thy power to save, When this poor lisping, stammering tongue lies silent in the grave. Lies silent in the grave, lies silent in the grave; When this poor lisping, stammering tongue lies silent in the grave.
Lord, I believe Thou hast prepared, unworthy though I be, For me a blood bought free reward, a golden harp for me! 'Tis strung and tuned for endless years, and formed by power divine, To sound in God the Father’s ears no other name but Thine.
This Holy Week has been very special, but to elaborate now -- I can't do it, yet. In due time, I will. How blessed, how blessed is my Saviour.
It's really dreadful to wake up at 3 in the morning to discover that you're burning your brains away!
Aside, I was just listening to Colbie Caillat while chatting with Gloria. Just when I was about to ask her to check out the songs, she tells me she loves Colbie Caillat! Eeek. Haha. If Gloria wasn't so much younger than me, I think we'd be doing a whole lot of things together and hanging out every other day. I love you, girl!
I love Colbie Caillat too!
Anyway... on the subject of great music, B & I went for The Roots concert on Friday night and it totally rocked! He was so excited when ?uestlove came on stage that he was jumping and shrieking like a child! We both loved the tuba guy - Damon "Tuba Gooding Jr." Bryson, because we had no idea that a hip hop band would have their own tuba player. (Hmm... What do you call a tuba player? A tubarist?) And there was the crazy guitarist Captain Kirk Douglas, whom B said had such awesome showmanship... and I couldn't agree more!
At the end, ?uestlove was throwing signed drum sticks and drum skins out to the crowd. Unfortunately, none came our way. But we enjoyed ourselves no less and he joked that someday, he'll be throwing his own drum sticks into the crowd. I'll be looking forward to that day too :) For now, there are plans to record a gospel album to be released in Indonesia. We had this whole joke about how the album's not going to reach the masses since there aren't many Christians in Indonesia but a mere 8%. Then we realised there are 250mil people in Indonesia, which makes it 20 million Christians!
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7
Can you put to words the goodness of our Lord God? I doubt it! :) Everyday is a brand new day with Jesus.
When I got out of bed this morning, my first thought was to ask God to watch over me today... and then I regretted. I should have woken up and thought of praising God first, above all else! Not ask Him for things! I don't want to live a life where I only pray GMT prayers (give me this, give me that... haha. Funny stuff from the sermon by Bishop John Tan)
So I have decided that when I wake up tomorrow, I'll make sure the first thing I do... is to praise God! :)
You know at times, we just get very grouchy. Our feelings are strange things that we think we can't quite control. But it's not true to say that we are slaves to our emotions! Because Jesus has given us victory over all. It's only up to us to conquer first ourselves, then the world! Woo. Haha. Not so serious la. No war. *PEACE* But it's trrruuueee. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us!
One thing I ask from God this day... that I may dwell in His presence forever and ever and ever more!
I will love You, Lord always Not just for the things You've done for me And I will praise You all my days Not just for the change You've made in me I'll praise you for You are holy, Lord And I'll lift my hands, But You are worthy of so much more
For You are awesome, God of the Nations, Lion of Judah, Rock of the Ages, Alpha, Omega You're worthy of all praise More that these hands I'll raise I'll live a life of praise
I will serve You Lord always For You are my strength When I am weak I will never be afraid For You are my rock and You protect me But I'll praise You For You are holy, Lord And I'll lift my hands, But You are worthy of so much more - Life of Praise, by Casting Crowns
When peace like a river, attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, It is well, it is well, with my soul.
It is well, with my soul, It is well, with my soul, It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, Let this blest assurance control, That Christ has regarded my helpless estate, And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought! My sin, not in part but the whole, Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more, Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight, The clouds be rolled back as a scroll; The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend, Even so, it is well with my soul.
--
Dear Lord, please be with us. Strenghten our feeble arms. Give might to our tired feet. That we may dwell in your presence forever. (:
God never promised that this life would be easy. Temptations and sin gets in our way all too easily. Our mood swings from east to the west. Our emotions are like the wind. We could go through pain, hurt, and betrayal. What God did promise, however, was the peace that surpasses all understanding, His love that is beyond compare, and His great mercies that are new every morning. No matter what we experience, what we go through, what we stumble and fall in... we can always look and return to God, and be restored once again. For there is no guilt, no condemnation when we draw near to our Saviour.
David was an amazing man of God. He is the only one in the Bible who can boast of being called "a man after God's own heart". Yet he was not without sin. His most infamous sin with Bathsheba would have accounted him too many counts of wrong doing, if there was a heavenly supreme court. The saving grace of God however, lies in how he repented. The humility of David in recognition of his sin, was definitely something that pleased God. Coming clean with Christ isn't something that we do naturally. When we make mistakes, it causes us to fumble. But when we choose to do what is right. It becomes well with our souls.
The peace and joy that came when I chose to do what is right, showed me what Amazing Grace really meant.
There's so much that I'm looking forward to, and so much I couldn't give thanks more for. Jesus' love is bubbling over... Oooh! Haha. I finally managed to close up some evil gaps in my life that I needed to face up to, and they've arrived at a happy ending. The wonderful thing about doing what God wants you to do - no matter how uncomfortable it seems at that time - is that you'd be able to taste the sweetness of it thereafter. And it reaps a far greater gladness than if you had chosen to avoid doing what was right. All it takes is a spark of obedience - faith. :)
It doesn't matter who you are It doesn't matter where you've been It doesn't matter what the scar It doesn't matter what the sin It doesn't matter how you fell Somewhere along the way There is healing for your life today
There's a river that flows from the fountain of God And it heals everything along the way I have tasted and know That for every broken heart There is healing in Jesus' name
He looks beyond how far you've gone He looks beyond when you were hurt He looks beyond who stole your song He looks beyond what made it worse He looks beyond where others failed To reach out to you and say There's healing for your life today
It's a river that loves It's a river that lives It's the river of life Living Water it gives - A River, by Carmen
It's not to say that my life is cruising at the moment because it certainly isn't. But just look at the life of Paul and the many other apostles who suffered in their time. I preach often about the joyous songs of Paul and Silas as they were locked up in prison, after enduring lashes of humiliation and torture; while my constant migraine is no doubt giving me a hard time, it's but an ant bite compared to the pains of the two men, and other great men of faith. How can I, with all the blessings in my life, wallow in a piteous state as though God were never real? Are not the things of God far greater? By all means, yes! (:
How do you know if you're truly walking with God? When you find peace in all things, especially in the things that you know are hurting you most.
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7
I'm glad I finally had the courage to speak. I'm glad I finally had the humility to say I'm sorry. And I'm glad - so very glad - that I can now face up to the very things that I've been trying to hide.
Jehovah Rapha - God, my healer.
It's so amusing to think of how God is able to use every circumstance for good. (: Obedience is better than sacrifice! His great love... so indescribable, it makes my heart burst out in such joy... it's almost impossible to put in words and I'm totally stumped for what to say! Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.
I'm praying for you each and every day - in the morning, at the noon time, and before bed. You may never respond. You may never hear what I have to say. But somewhere along the way, I know there is God by your side, and He is going to do a marvellous work in your life. And that's what really matters. (:
Aside, it's been a long time since I heard Carmen's album or any of those songs that we used sing and dance to. I miss the wonderful days in that little room by the back of the gym at the old dusty Farrer Road. Oooh. The little time I spent with Wei Juan recently had brought back streams of memories that almost got lost. I went to bed that night (morning, in fact. It was... nearly 5?) with such nostalgia, I think I dreamt I was 13 once again. Haha.
Who's in the house? JC! Jesus Christ is in the house today
Had an Etsy afternoon, just clicking through and taking snapshots of what I thought were pretty things - hoping that they'll inspire me to giving that 'men's club' a name. I asked Isaac and Hongjun what would make them join a club, and they weren't of much help. But I noticed that money was a key drawing factor. A club with attractive benefits and promotions would lure them more than hot babes. Perhaps that is jus the view of two guys. We probably need a broader perspective.
Aside, it was rather surreal spending the whole night listening to them talk while watching the waves and the cuttlefish-like umbrellas. Each time my phone sounded with an SMS, I would notice also, the time it was. 330am. 4am. 423am. 5am. Until we finally decided to walk back to the main island, I really thought I was dreaming... sleep talking... just, really, disconnected from self.
Oh, and I had 3 2s twice in our rounds of dai dee, and I won both times. Wahaha.
Anyway, my body clock has been warped up over this holiday season. I've been reaching home at times when others are waking up. Oh well. I shall be spending some time with God before I think I'll concuss again shortly. Nap time. Haha.
Happy new year folks. Hmm... I think I've just about spent away all my new year money on taxis!
There was nothing to say the day she left Just filled a suitcase full of regrets I hailed a taxi in rain Looking for some place to ease the pain Then like an answered prayer I turned you around and found you there
Are you tired of chasing pretty rainbows? Are you tired of spinning round and round? Wrap up all those shattered dreams of your life And at the feet of Jesus lay them down.
Give them all Give them all Give them all to Jesus Your shattered dreams, your wounded heart, your broken toys
Give them all Give them all Give them all to Jesus And He will turn your sorrows back into joy
He never said you would only see sunshine He never said there would be no rain He only promised a heart full of singing About the very thing that once brought pain
You rescued me, and picked me up A living hope, of grace revealed A life transformed, in righteousness Oh Lord you have rescued me. Forgiving me, you healed my heart And set me free from sin and death, You bought me life, you made me whole Oh Lord you have rescued me.
And you loved me, before I knew you And you knew me for all time I’ve been created in your image, Oh Lord And you bought me and you sought me, Your blood poured out for me A new creation, in your image, Oh Lord, You rescued me, you rescued me.
You came for me, you sought me out, You soothed my soul, you found my heart, You picked me up, you covered me, Oh Lord you have rescued me. You calmed the storm, you stilled the seas, You spoke a word, my fears relieved, You filled my life, you saved my soul, Oh Lord you have rescued me.
What's wrong? What's getting you down? Is it something that I might have said? You're walking around With your head to the ground And your eyes are watery red
I know you've been through tough times Kicked around, thrown to the ground But you've always been the strong one So don't tell me that nobody gets you
Cause I'm standing in your corner Knocking at your door You don't have to be alone
Just call my name Let me be an answer Cause it hurts me to see you this way
I wanna ease your pain Help me understand Let me be your shelter, my friend
We share a bond You and I we belong We're like coffee and morning trains
You strip my defences I catch your pretences The same blood runs through our veins
I swore I'd be your lifeline Made a vow that I'd surround you With love at every milestone
I'll listen when nobody gets you I'll still be standing in your corner Waiting by your door You don't have to be alone
Just call my name Let me be an answer Cause it hurts me to see you this way
I wanna ease your pain Help me understand let me be your shelter my friend
It was not too long ago You sought to understand You help me mend Remember when
So promise me you'll Call my name Let me be an answer Cause it hurts me to see you this way
I wanna ease your pain Help me understand Let me be your shelter my friend
Old news, but I was really upset I couldn't get tickets to Jay Chou's concert. I tried getting the tickets while it was still on priority booking, but I couldn't log on to sistic at all... and when I could, there were no seats left. There must have been 10,000 people trying to log on for his tickets at the same time.
Sucks.
And no, I won't pay exorbitant prices for the tickets no matter how much I want to go. I'm not that desperate or that stupid - yet.
That aside, Zong Ren bought me the new ??? CD. I love it! Hehe. My favourite song is the 2nd last track, i. Turns out, my sweet love likes the same song too! It's a really happy and sweet song. Nothing too melodrama, although I love his sappy songs just as much. The other song that I thought was really fun is Yang Guang Zhai Nan! I don't really know what zhai nan means but the MTV might give you an idea.
Okay, that's all for my review of my all time favourite singer. :P
And... here's a lovely song with a lovely skit. :)
Take my five loaves and two fishes Do with it as you will I surrender Take my fears and inhibitions All my burdens, my ambitions You can use it all to feed them all - Five Loaves and Two Fishes, by Corinne May
You can be a witness You can be a prophet You can make the whole world believe Break the strongest fortress Change the way the world thinks You can build a bridge where foes can meet Hope for the future Shout it, don't whisper Dreams are what we make them to be There's hope in every heartbeat Tiny as it seems You're a beautiful seed
I'm back! And I'm feeling really bimbotic today. If Yahui hadn't told me about my blog last night, I would have clean forgotten that it ever existed. Haha.
Work has been insane. Bleh. I hate working! But work aside, I've been playing brainless games (Pirate Poppers! Quite fun!) and watching TV shows - online. Hur.
I don't know how but I stumbled upon the first episode of Romantic Princess on Youtube and was hooked. That Fahrenheit boy, Wuzun, is out-of-this-world handsome - especially in this show.
And so, yes. Now I'm back to my teeny bopper days as a boyband supporter.
But then again, he is much older than me afterall (ok, not THAT much). So I'm not quite teeny bopper. :P *excuses*
And have you seen his body? His very able-bodied, toned and robust figure? So... who can blame me? Hahaha. :P
